I'm sitting at the library with Laelia. Tauria is still at the academy hospital, the medics not wanting to let her go just yet. Tauria's selective amnesia puzzles them, and they're trying to figure out what caused it.
Since they haven't come up with anything, me and Laelia have spent the last couple of days in the library, trying to find anything on either what causes people to forget every single person they've ever met but nothing else, or what makes disappeared memories come back.
So far we haven't found much. So I sit and stare at the page in front of me, running my eyes over the same lines over and over again, none of the words sinking deep enough in my mind for me to actually understand what they're saying.
"How about this?" Laelia asks and turns the book she's reading around so I can see what's written on it.
"Really?" I say.
"Really," she says.
"Flowers. You want to go pick some flowers, make some tea out of them, and then put the rest under her pillow for a mull moon's night?"
"Well, I mean," Laelia begins, sounding unsure, "We're not finding anything else. And this says it helps with amnesia. It's an old book. And, you know, sometimes... old books are more than they seem," she shrugs but gives me a meaningful look.
I look back at her for a few seconds.
"Do you really think it would work?" I ask her after a moment of silence. She hesitates before answering.
"No," she finally admits, "But it's all we've got, and these flowers actually grow around here, and this close to midsummer they're actually flowering, so what the hell. It's not like it'll do any harm to make her drink some tea. And who knows, maybe this old book will surprise us."
I just look at her, not saying anything.
"I said I don't think it'll work," she says, going all defensive, "But I'm getting tired of doing nothing. At least this is something we can try, even if it did absolutely nothing."
I stare at her for a moment longer. Then I sigh.
"Fine, let's go flower-picking," I say, "But not now. I have a calculus class to catch. I'll see you in the courtyard after that?"
She nods, and I shut my books and head out of the library, towards the calculus class. I've been carrying a small note to Omega in my bag for a couple of days, never remembering to take it to the closet with all this going on. Now the closet isn't too much of a detour, so I head there on my way to drop it off.
~x~
Calculus has always been one of my favourite subjects. But today I stay hardly awake, not having slept too well for the past few nights. Finally the class is over and I rush back outside, where Laelia is looking for me. We head straight for the woods. Neither of us speaks. There isn't much to say.
"How long have you known?" she asks after we're already a good way into the woods, alone. I turn to look at her, about to ask what she means, but then I see the look on her face. I turn back to face where we're going.
"Since the beginning of the term, actually," I say after a moment of silent walking, "I had a flashback or something, suddenly remembered how I got some leaves to grow faster, turn green from barely hatched. I was maybe five back then. I never remembered anything like that happening until now. I don't know how that's possible. My mom did get pretty upset, maybe that scared me enough that I never dared to try anything like it again, and I slowly forgot."
Laelia shakes her head.
"It's not something you just forget," she says. I think about it for a moment.
"So what do you think happened instead?" I ask.
"I don't know," she answers, shaking her head. We walk in silence for a while longer.
"So what about you?" I ask, breaking the silence. She turns to look at me, and just stares at me for a moment, like thinking if she should tell me.
"I used to love books when I was a kid. I mean, I still do, but my grandmother had some old books with stories of great wizards. I used to wish I was like them. Then my parents got worried about it, because it's not like you can have a kid running around telling people she wants to be a sorcerer. So they told me the story about the Great Battle, and all that. It scared me. Though not as much as making some water fly around in the air the next day. My parents had literally just told me sorcerers were evil and magic was bad, and there I was, six years old and able to float water. I never told them. Or anyone else. I was too scared. But I've been practising in secret, for years. So now I think I'm okay. I could be a lot better, if I didn't have to hide it."
I nod. We walk a while more in silence.
"Could you show me?" I ask. She looks at me, startled. "I mean, I'm only just getting started, and it would be great to see someone more advanced do something."
She doesn't say anything for a long while.
"I'm sorry," she then says, "I... It's not like I don't trust you, I want you to know that. It's just... I've never done anything in front of anyone. I never ever dreamed of doing anything in front of other people. I never thought I could. I've been so careful, so..." she falls silent for a moment, "I don't think I'm ready to show anyone, even though I know it would be okay. Avoiding anyone seeing is too deep in me. So I can't. At least not yet."
I nod.
"But you did it with Tauria," I note. But it's not the same. I know it's not. We were saving a friend, had no choice.
"That's not the same," she says too. I just nod. I don't want to push her.
"There's a meadow, I think there are some of our flowers," she says after a moment longer of walking.
"Yeah, I think so too. How much do you think we'll need?"
We come to a clearing. A meadow. And she's right. The whole area is filled with bright yellow flowers, the colors intensified in the light of the setting sun. Laelia stops under the last trees.
"I always loved sunsets. How they make everything look more beautiful. More alive. More.... more. You know? All the colors so bright, in the sky and everywhere else."
"Yeah," I answer, "Come on."
We walk into the meadow and begin picking the flowers. Laelia thinks we won't need much, and we soon have our hands filled with flowers and head back towards the academy. There we brew Tauria some tea and bring her the rest of the flowers to the hospital. She's about as sceptic about it as we are.
"Really?" she asks.
"That's what I said," I say.
"It's worth the try," Laelia says. Tauria begins to sip her tea, but stops half way through, lowering her cup.
"Why are you going through all this trouble? It's very sweet, but... Why?" she asks, looks at both of us.
"Because," Laelia begins, "Even though you can't remember anything about us, we love you. And we don't want you to feel alone in this huge school full of strangers."
I can see a tear welling in Tauria's eye. She nods, and raises the cup to her lips. It's not like it's gonna work. But at least we did something today to help.
________________________________________________________
Okay. So I have one more bit to go before I go to Italy. I'm actually a little scared of what you'll do with the story while I'm gone.
But that time isn't quite yet.
Your topic for... Monday? Monday. is Shirt(s).
~matu
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