Oddities, Part 13 - Pastel

After Tove left, Alaia paced around her apartment for a good long while. She thought of other things she could have said instead of the things she had. She tried to imagine how what she had been saying had sounded like to Tove. No one had believed her when she had said the cases were connected. And now maybe she felt like the only person who had believed her had turned against her too. Maybe Alaia should have simply gone with what Tove had said, even if she didn't believe it. Just to be supportive. But no. It was better to say aloud what she actually thought about it. If Tove wanted to get to the truth, she needed to also listen what other people had to say. One person couldn't think of every angle, no matter how well she knew the case.

But still...

The rooms that usually were so inviting felt suffocating. She couldn't take it any more. She threw on her coat and scarf and hat and left the apartment. She was telling herself she needed to go get some groceries, which she did, but it was mostly an excuse to get out of the apartment for a while to air out her mind. She walked the long way to the second-closest store (checking both directions multiple times before crossing any roads, even the smallest ones that never had traffic), got herself some food for the next day, then took a different long way back to the apartment. When she got back she was freezing, but feeling slightly better. She lit a small fire in the fireplace and huddled in front of it covered in blankets.

Why was she even here? The doubts she had felt before getting to Embärfjell were stronger than they had been at any point since she had gotten here. She should have never come. She should have stayed in Cametonia, where things made sense, where you didn't need three layers of clothes with heat spells to stay warm and where she didn't accidentally get involved in.... she didn't even know what it was. Or if she was involved.

Her arm hurt. She tried to scratch her wrist and failed. She missed Cametonia. She missed her family and the friends she hadn't heard anything from for weeks. She missed the bright colors that were everywhere at home. Here insides were pastel colored, a light green or blue or brown, mostly. Outside was all white. Or dark. Mostly both. She missed the sun. She should leave, go back home. For a while she had thought maybe this could be her home, but she had been wrong. This wasn't home.

She was all alone in this cold and dark corner of the world where no one in their right mind should live. And she had just driven away the only friend she had here.

She would have to talk to Tove. Make things right. Preferably sooner than later. She checked the time. Not today. She knew Tove lived somewhere close, but not exactly where, and she wouldn't be at the office at this hour. Probably. No, not even she would go there this late. So she would have to go down to the office tomorrow and catch her then. Just going to the office wouldn't be against the sick leave she had been given. Working would be against it.

She should be going to bed soon, she knew. Instead she sat in the middle of the floor huddled up in her blankets, staring at the fire until there was nothing left except ember glowing red.

~X~

She knew it was late in the day when she woke up. It was already daylight outside. The sun was shining, its light reflected from the snow glowing white. She took her time and then headed to the office. The world seemed like a much better place after a night's sleep and daylight outside.

People at the office were surprised but happy to see her well. It took her a half an hour just to get to Tove's office, because people kept stopping her to ask how she was doing. She lost count how many times she told them that yes, she was ok, and no, she wasn't back to work yet, just stopping by the office for something else. When she finally got there it was empty. Tove wasn't there.

She moved on to the coffee rooms, checking them one by one, in each stopping to chat with people again. Tove wasn't in any of them either. Alaia checked her office again, just to make sure she hadn't come back there while Alaia was in the coffee rooms. She hadn't. And no one remembered seeing her since she had left the office the previous afternoon.

There was one more place. Alaia descended the stairs to the basement where Ronja spent her time with the giant machine that was able to calculate things faster and more reliably than a human, apparently.

Ronja looked up as she entered.

"Oh, hey! Are you back already?" she asked immediately. Alaia smiled.

"No, no, I have all this week off," she said. Again. "I actually came here to look for Tove. We... uh. Had a bit of a fight about her case yesterday, and I was looking for her to talk it out."

"Oh. Well, she's not here. I saw her yesterday morning, I think." She paused. "What day is it now?" She paused again, but continued before Alaia could answer. "No, it doesn't matter, I don't remember which day it was I saw her anyway. But I think it was yesterday. You should ask someone else. I'm always down here, so I don't know about where anyone else at the office is."

"I already asked some people up there. No one has seen her since yesterday. She hasn't been in at all today, and it's past noon."

Ronja waved her comment away.

"I wouldn't worry about it. She's an investigative journalist, after all. There's only so much investigating you can do from the office. She's out a lot."

Alaia frowned. She knew Ronja was probably right, but she still felt uneasy. It must have shown on her face.

"Don't worry about it," Ronja told her. "Tove is sometimes out of the office for two, three days at a time, chasing some story. She'll be back by the time you are."

Alaia wasn't convinced, but there was nothing more to be gained by trying to argue with Ronja. So she left and did one more round of the office. Tove still wasn't there. Alaia hadn't really thought she would be. She headed back home, worried.
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The topic for tomorrow is Wall.

 ~matu