Confessions

OK, I lied, I did nothing last weekend.

About your proposition, you really think I have time to count for how long I carry Kaija around? I barely realize how quickly the time passes anyway. Also my job is surprisingly much sitting around. Sitting in the living room, sitting at the table, sitting on the couch reading, sitting around while the kids nap, sitting in Leila's room drawing. The only place I don't sit is if we go out, which takes about 1h of the 10 I work everyday. Just so you know. Also I'm a lazy fuck, so there. Give me a creative challenge and I just might rise up to it.

I've been having a lot of feelings lately. More so than I remember having in a long time. I'm not sure what happened exactly, but I think it's a good thing? I'm not sure, I'm not really good with the feelings thing. But lately I've actually felt the things I know I should be feeling. Does that make sense? Am I just super weird? Should I go see a shrink or sth? I mean, I have had feelings before, it's just they seem to have grown. Maybe I have grown, I don't know.

I am super psyched for the next SPN season! I mean oh my GOD. The final plot twist was hardly a plot twist, everyone and their grandma knew Dean was gonna become a demon, but I actually did gasp when Metatron sunk the sword in his chest. Which I probably could have seen coming, because they said in First Born that Cain died and became a demon, so logically in order for Dean to become a demon he should also need to die. I am very disappointed with what they did with Gadreel's story because he deserved better, but I'm kinda still living in denial that he died in the first place. Because if you compare the blasts that happened from his suicide to the ones that happened in the previous episode, Gadreel's was much too small. Also it was a bloody rock. I'm pretty sure you can't kill an angel with a rock. I like the theory that he just used all his grace and then became a human.

What else should I confess, hmm.

I would probably be such an alcoholic if  alcohol actually tasted good. Because I'm always drink so much. Granted it's usually ice tea or soda or even juice in pinch, but the amount is so massive I feel sorry for my bladder sometimes. I can easily drink up a 2l bottle and then some in one day. It's crazy. I've also thought before that if cigarette smoke wasn't so terrible smelling I would probably also be a chain smoker. Because I need something to do with my fingers all the flipping time, I'm constantly playing with my necklaces or clothes or hair, and also my tongue is hyperactive and I always want to eat stuff, so having a cigarette would help with that too. But both of these things taste/smell terrible and frankly I like my lungs and liver as they are thank you very much, so I won't be taking up either one any time soon.

I'm queer. I told you once, in scouts, that I was bisexual. That is not actually true. I am actually asexual. It means that I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone (not that I can reproduce asexually,  even if that was the first thing that came to your mind). And I don't. I can appreciate people's looks and I can tell when people are hot, but I don't get the urge to do the nasty with them. When I told you I was bisexual that was because I find the concept of dating a boy or a girl (or a person with whatever gender identity really) equally nice, although in some what different ways. But I have since then learned that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different things, and come to the conclusion that I'm actually an bi(or maybe pan)romantic asexual. Now, this does not mean that I don't like sex or that I don't wanna have it (even though it can for some people, we're all very different), because I do, I just don't find it a necessary part of my everyday life. Of course a person's sex drive isn't the same as their stand on sex, but... You know, I think I'll just stop now. It's getting a bit complicated, I'm losing track myself. tl;dr: I'm asexual. And will date a person regardless of their junk. Because I really don't care about that junk.

I'm running out of time, so I'll just end this here. You can confess something to me in the comments if you feel like it. : D

Pie out.