"Did you know that you can make a potion from the scales of a kokolhan lizard that presumably cures any injury?"
We're studying with Tauria at the huge academia library, looking for the interesting facts about the kokolhan lizards for the animalogy class tomorrow. We've been here for hours, because none of the facts seem to be quite interesting enough, to beat everyone else's probable interesting facts.
"That's a good one," I say, slamming the book in front of me shut, "I'm giving up. I'll never find anything as interesting as that. Especially if that's true."
Tauria eyed me for a moment over the table.
"There's no way that's true. A potion that cures any injury? Come on. Any injury."
"Well, it didn't say how fast it cures it. It might be that it cures anything, but just not fast enough that you wouldn't bleed to death meanwhile."
"You do realise with that logic all injuries are always cured just on their own. Some just aren't cured fast enough."
I stared at her and cocked my head to the side. Yeah. I can clearly notice my mind is being preoccupied with not lizards, but with the fact that someone knows my secret and my name, and that at any moment a bunch of government men can thrust in through the doors and arrest me, and have me killed.
I've been going through the whole thing in my mind so many times. Maybe it isn't about my magic after all. Maybe it's someone who's messing with me, maybe they heard some embarrassing rumour about me, and that's what they're talking about when they say I'm special, and they think they're playing a practical joke on me. Or it goes even further than that, and the writer really doesn't know anything about me, but just decided to humor themselves by making me think that they know my darkest secrets.
Then again, the letter did sound friendly. But in my situation I can't afford to trust anyone. Not even friendly. Which really has meaning next to nothing.
"What's going on with you?" Tauria stares at me from across the table.
"Uh.... Nothing?" I answer, very unconvincingly.
"You haven't been acting like yourself lately. For the whole of the beginning of this term. What's going on?"
"I haven't slept too well," I say, truthfully.
"Yes. I can see that," Tauria rises an eyebrow at me, "The question is why."
I shrug. We sit there, for a moment longer. Then she closes her book and begins to stand up.
"You know, all this time we've both been here, you've been my best friend. We used to be able to talk. About anything. And now. Now I don't know what's happening. I can see you clearly don't want to talk about it, so I won't push you. But I'm a little disappointed you feel like you can't trust me with something clearly huge. And I'm worried about you."
She picks up her stuff and walks away. I hit my forehead on the table. I sit there, with my head on the table, for a few minutes, thinking. Or rather trying to think. My brain is so stuffed for the thinking to actually go anywhere from "what am I doing? I have to tell her. But I can't. But I have to. What am I doing? She's my best friend. I have to tell her. But I can't."
I finally sigh, give up, gather my stuff and head towards where I think I took the book I had been reading to return it to the shelf. I find the right place and push it into the space between the two neighboring books. I'm already leaving when I notice the title on the book next to it: The History of Sorcery and The Great Battle.
I glance around the shelf. Everything else on the shelf is about animals. Either general books on animals, or books on specific animals, or animals living in foreign countries. But they're all animalogy books, in one way or the other. The system they use to categorise books in the library is insane, and even though the guys working there clearly know exactly how it works, it's taken me this long to figure out the general way the books are organised, though some books are still in places I wouldn't even think to look if I wasn't lead there by someone who knows the system. Even so, I'm pretty sure this book is simply in the wrong place.
There is something weird going on in this school.
I wave the echo of the words from the letter out of my head. Someone misplaced a book, that's all. It happens all the time. I think.
I take the book out of the shelf and start heading towards the desk where the library workers sit, so they can return it to where ever it's really supposed to be.
I leaf it through a little as I walk. Everyone knows the story about the Great Battle to rid the kingdom of sorcery, the one written by the King's father. But this one, it starts differently. The words are unfamiliar, not the ones I'm used to when reading about the Battle. It's been written by a sorcerer. A sorcerer who seems to have been there.
Someone touches me on the shoulder.
"Huh?" I say, looking up.
"We're closing the library for the night."
I look around. I'm sitting at a table, with The History of Sorcery and The Great Battle in front of me. There's no one else in the library, as far as I can see. Just me and the guy who just came to talk to me.
"Oh, uh," I say. "Sorry. I guess I just get carried away. How late is it?"
"We're closing the library for the night. They're serving supper in the dining hall."
"Oh. Right," my stomach grumbles loudly. I hand the guy the book, "Here. Someone had put it in a wrong shelf, with the animalogy books. I was bringing it to you. I guess I started reading it on the way."
The librarian takes the book and looks at it. Then he looks at me.
"Well, off you go now," he makes a shooing motion with his free hand.
I grab my things and hurry out of the library, to get something to eat. I didn't even know there were books like that in the library, books written by sorcerers. Well, obviously there would be books written by sorcerers, but old books, about animals or plants, or calculus. Not history books. I didn't know books like that even exist, that tell that part of history from the other side's point of view.
I head for the dining hall, starving, since I had apparently skipped a meal sitting in the library.
The next day I go back to the library, looking for the book, to read the rest of it. I can't find it anywhere.
_____________________________________________________________
I thought I'd do this first thing in the morning. Partly because, yes, only writing every second day is driving me crazy, since the next part always comes in so slow, and partly because I figured I can concentrate on other things when I don't have to keep planning this for the rest of the day.
And partly because I'm kind of avoiding eating breakfast, since I just had two of my teeth pulled out two days ago, and I'm not sure what I can eat yet without it hurting, and we don't have any oatmeal that I could make that I know I could eat. So I'm just postponing the eating.
Anyway.
Your topic for Friday is Water.
I'll see you tomorrow. Mom said you'll have to pick me up from the train, since she's off to something to do with work.
~matu
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