Karma, Part 15 - Distance

They holed up at the House of Grace. What else were they going to do? Ruune had work to do, and while it was now calm on the surface, it didn’t feel safe to wander around the city. Even if Tikka very much could take care of herself. Even though she had most of the use of her arm back, she was still healing, and Ruune didn’t want her getting into unnecessary fights that might set the healing back.

Besides, and more importantly, Tikka needed to put some distance, or at least some sturdy stone walls, between her and the world, and her and the eyes following her out there in the city.

So while Ruune worked on the House tapestries and ryas, she heard the story. It was odd, working while someone was talking to her. It wasn’t that many days since she’d been uncomfortable having Tikka in the room making any sounds while she was working. But something had changed. Shifted. She was perfectly comfortable working while letting Tikka’s voice paint a picture of her past.

It had been a long time. Her mother had gotten sick. Very sick. Tikka was a teenager at the time. She had helped her mother, any way she could. She had taken care of her. She had tried to find a cure. She had gone to every doctor in Kaskia. None of them could help her. And the ones who could, said it was too expensive. That there was a remedy they had heard of for the illness, but that it could only be gotten from far away. It was expensive there, and sending someone to get it or paying a merchant going that way to bring them some was too pricey. For Tikka and her mother, certainly, but also for the doctors, even if they had been willing to help with little to no pay out of the goodness of their heart.

But knowing there was a cure had made it worse. Tikka had almost left for the medicine herself, but she had been told she, a teenager alone on the road, never having left the city before, would likely not have made it back in time with the medicine and would lose what little time she had left with her mother. And besides, mother had begged her not to go.

So Tikka had done the only thing she could think of: she had gone to the richest person in the area. He would have the money to send someone fast, to get the remedy. To save her mother. She had taken Karma. Her mother had told her many times during her childhood their family had had the sword for generations, and that it had magic.

She had asked the lord to save her mother. She would swear her allegiance to the lord. She would be his servant. She was good with a sword, even if she was a skinny teenager, and she would get better. She was a quick learner, she would learn any skill the lord wanted of her. She would serve him for the rest of her life. If only the lord saved her mother.

The lord had agreed. Tikka had sworn her life, not knowing what she was doing, to the lord. She had been just as surprised as the lord when the bond had appeared between them. She had not known that was possible. But it had been okay. The lord would save her mother, and she would gladly serve him for as long as she lived.

Her mother had died anyway, a couple of short months later. Even the lord’s men, for all they had been paid, had not made it back in time. Though over the years, Tikka had started to suspect maybe the lord had never sent anyone for the remedy in the first place, even if he had promised he did.

She had left Kaskia for the first time with the lord only days after her mother had passed. He had already started to train her as a warrior, a guard. He kept her close, always close. There was no other way. After a couple of years, he had tried sending her off on an errand to a neighboring town, and it had not gone well. He had tried once or twice again after that, but it had soon become clear it only ended badly if their distance grew too big.

Over the years she had learned him. He was strict. It had become second nature to her to at all times keep tabs on how he was feeling. She had learned when to keep her mouth shut, which was most of the time. All she had needed to do was to obey his orders. Any complaints about not wanting to do a job had been useless, and also had made things worse. He owned her. She had sworn her life. She would do as she was told.

Over the years she had learned herself too. There had been no fully hiding from him, as he had been able to feel her emotions through the bond, but he didn’t seem to care much. As long as she had done what she was told, it hadn’t mattered if she was happy about it. In those years, she had seen a lot she didn’t like, and had done a lot she didn’t like, and the lord had known that. Of course he had. There was no way he hadn’t. It just hadn’t mattered to him. But there had always been a wish for rebellion, of not having him completely own her: after all, he had not kept his end of the deal. There was no hiding the rebellious feelings, but he hadn’t cared about them. As long as she had done as she was told, and hadn’t brought them up. But they meant there had been a part of herself she had intentionally and carefully hid away. She had known it was there, but it had been buried so deep he didn’t have access to it. And if that had meant she didn’t too, really. That was okay. She knew it was there and it was hers and only hers, and that had been enough.

For a decade she had served him. And then the fire had happened. It had been her fault. She didn’t even remember exactly what had happened. Had she knocked over a candle? Forgotten to put out the fire in the fireplace? The night was a blur, and she simply didn’t remember.

The lord’s mansion had been almost completely burned down, and what had remained had to be taken down. The lord had been furious. She still wasn’t sure how he had done it. Somehow, he had broken the bond. Shattered it. She had felt the moment it broke. It was pain, and grief, and emptiness. She had suddenly been all alone in the world in which she had never been alone. She had felt like suffocating, the emptiness not even having the air she had needed to breathe.

The lord seemed like he barely noticed the break. He had told her to go. To never show her face in front of her again. That she was so much more trouble than she was worth. That she was useless, and he not only didn’t need her, he was much better off without an anchor he needed to drag around lest the heavens started throwing obstacles in their way.

So she had run. With just the clothes on her back, and Karma strapped to her waist, because that was literally all she owned, she had run and put as much distance between herself and Kaskia as she could, as fast as she could.

It had been years now. She had been floating around in the world, going wherever her feet took her. Until Ruune had found her, and saved her.

***

“He’s the one who’s been following us,” Ruune said quietly.

“I guess the bond is never completely gone,” Tikka looked down at her hands in her lap. The emotions coming from her were a whirlwind, but on the outside she was more still than ever. “It must have been him. We never saw him, because he was too far away. But remnants of the bond in me knew he was there, coming after us.”

“But why?” Ruune said. “And why now, after all these years?”

“I don’t know. But I think… I think someone at the Kaskia house of Grace told him.”

“The information request.”

“I haven’t been anywhere where anyone would care all this time. Nowhere that would leave a trace of a name behind. There was nowhere to start looking.”

They were quiet for a long time after that. Tikka completely still in her chair, Ruune stitching, listening to the turmoil inside Tikka.

***

They wanted to get out of the city as fast as they could. The whole place felt unstable, even if there was only minor trouble on the streets in the coming days. The House of Grace was bustling with people making repairs. All House guards were working as long hours as possible, it seemed. Not that they saw them much, because so was Ruune. Get the work done as soon as possible, get out of the city.

They stayed in as much as possible. They didn’t want to go out there. Not with Tikka feeling like there were eyes on her the whole time out in the open. And not with the riots possibly starting up again. But after two days Ruune needed fresh air and to feel space around her. Her eyes were hurting, and staring out the window in their room was doing little to help. Tikka was not a fan of the idea. She didn’t want to go out.

“We have to go out to leave the city anyway. We can’t stay in here forever,” Ruune pointed out. “But if you don’t want to come, you can stay. I, however, am in a desperate need for a walk. I will be back soon.”

And so Tikka relented. Apparently letting Ruune go out alone was worse than having to go out herself.

They walked along the narrow streets of the city, heading towards the sea. There were wounds from the riot everywhere. The city still smelled faintly of smoke, even though the long-raging bridge fire had been finally put out by noon the previous day. It got better, though, as they got to the shore. The wind was blowing in fresh air from the sea. Ruune took a deep breath of cold, salty air.

“See,” she said. “Don’t you feel better, getting out a little bit?”

Tikka had only just opened her mouth to answer when a voice came from behind them.

“Hello, Tikariina.”

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The topic for tomorrow is Ear.

~matleena